White Locks Read online

  It would have been easier I think, if Brad were with me. It wasn’t easy to leave him behind. He had vociferously objected to the idea of me going back to the kingdom without protection, especially after everything that had happened with Joseph. I almost brought him with me, but he needed a visa to be allowed inside the country. It was going to take him a few days to secure one. I couldn’t wait any longer. I was desperate to get to Mazen.

  Half an hour later, I could see a limousine approaching from one of the small windows inside the jet, followed by an ambulance, and a police car. I wished silently that they would skip the fireworks this time, because that wouldn’t be keeping my presence a secret.

  My heart started thumping in anticipation as I saw the door of the limousine swing open. Someone in a thawp hopped out, not a royal guard as I’d expected. I swallowed thickly, thinking for a second that it might be Mazen. I prayed that it wasn’t the case because I seriously wanted to surprise him. I wanted to see his face when he saw me without knowing that I was around, and him coming here would blow it all.

  But as the man in question made his way towards the jet and got nearer, I was able to tell that it was Prince Fahd who’d come to meet me, and not just a guard.

  “Princess Marie, what a pleasant surprise!” he said genuinely, with a hint of a smile on his lips, nodding his head.

  “Thank you, Prince Fahd. It’s good to see you,” I greeted him back, offering him my hand, which he shook firmly. “May I speak with you privately, please?” I asked.

  “Of course, Princess,” he said, and then nodded to the guards behind him, in a gesture that meant for them to back away, which they did within seconds. When he was positive we were out of their earshot, he turned back to look at me, waiting for me to speak.

  “I – uh … I need to see Mazen. There are a lot of things I need to tell him, things that need to be said face to face and not over the phone. I was hoping that you could help me make this happen,” I said. My voice was soft and my heart was racing.

  He looked taken aback by my words for a second, but he quickly composed himself and replied, “I see. Honestly, when I was informed of your arrival, I thought that you had come back to check on the branch of your company, but hearing the real reason pleases me to no end.” He smiled widely, the first real smile I’d ever seen from him, and if I wasn’t mistaken, I think his eyes were glinting with joy. I could not help the blush that warmed my whole face.

  “But,” he said and my smile dropped, my heart following it to my stomach. “Prince Mazen is not in the kingdom.”

  What? My eyes widened. “Mazen is not in the kingdom?” I gasped.

  My head spun, my mind and thoughts whirling in every direction. Bad feelings twisted my stomach, and dark emotions closed my throat.

  Mazen wasn’t in the kingdom.

  What did that even mean? Where was he? Why had he left? And for what? A million question bombarded my mind. Did I come all this way for nothing? Why had he left, why? And, so soon?

  I swallowed thickly. “He’s not?” I asked, hoping that maybe I’d heard him wrong. Maybe I imagined it? I wished.

  Prince Fahd shook his head, “No.”

  My heart skipped a beat, for a disgusting thought violated my mind, the thought of his cousin … with him, together.

  I sat down on the nearest seat, burying my head in my hands, trying to even my breaths as I felt an approaching panic attack. “Where, then?” was my two-words question.

  “London,” Prince Fahd answered, and I frowned, searching in my mind for any answer I could come up with as to why he would be in London. I knew from what he’d told me just a day before I left that school wouldn’t start for two months, and that he couldn’t go there to start his training years even if he wished, because of his responsibilities.

  “He left the same night you left. We’ve barely heard from him since,” he added, causing my eyes to widen slightly.

  “Oh!” I said, my heart settling the slightest bit as I figured he couldn’t be with her; he’d left long before she could even return to the palace. And I suddenly remembered – there were two jets at the airport when we got out of the car. I had been too broken to pay attention as to why the other one was there. But now I knew – the other jet was for him, to go to London.

  But – “Why?” I asked, confused.

  “A Muslim husband can’t leave his wife while she’s sick. He couldn’t stay here. People would’ve judged him,” he explained.

  I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. It was because of me that he’d had to leave, not because of anything or anyone else. That thought was a little comforting. At least it meant he wasn’t with her… right?

  I truly had no idea why I was so full of jealousy – this feeling was all very new to me. But I was so desperate to see Mazen again, to have him take me back and agree to work things out – together. I was simply too afraid that something might have happened to blow up my dream. I was too afraid of losing him again before I’d even found him.

  After a long pause, I asked – begged – “Would you please give me his address in London?” My eyes were pleading and my heart was aching.

  Prince Fahd smiled, “Yes, I can do that.” And my own smile returned.

  “I’m going to London then,” I nodded to myself.

  “You mean now?” he asked, seemingly having heard me.

  “Yes,” I replied. “I mean, once they have the jet fueled and ready for the flight.”

  “But, Princess, that is not acceptable; it’s insulting even, on so many levels,” he said seriously.

  “What? What do you mean?” I asked with shock, wondering what I said that could have insulted him.

  “You’ve just had a long flight; you need a decent amount of time to rest. Your crew will also need to rest for at least 24 hours before they can fly again. Let me escort you to your wing and you can leave tomorrow, first thing in the morning.”

  My shoulders hunched forward. I knew that Arabs were known for their hospitality and generosity, but it wasn’t a good night of sleep and a decent meal that I needed. What I needed was Mazen. I had to get to him as soon as fate would let me, but I couldn’t decline Prince Fahd’s offer. He’d already said it would be insulting.

  But then, how could I go back to the palace? How could I be in the kingdom for a whole day and a night without Mazen? My blood ran cold just at the thought.

  I guess my feelings showed on my face, because the next thing I heard was Prince Fahd’s words, “You’ll be perfectly safe. I promise.”

  It was like I’d heard them from the mouth of his brother, because the words sounded just like him, sounded like something he would tell me. It made the desire in my heart to see him again burn even more.

  “Um … uh–” I couldn’t find the words to explain my main concern. I knew that Prince Fahd knew more than the rest of the kingdom did, but I didn’t know how far or how detailed that knowledge was. “Th-the queen,” was all I could say, hoping that he would understand that it was her wicked actions I feared the most. My eyes were silently asking him if he could protect me from her.

  Prince Fahd blew out a breath. “She wouldn’t hurt you. Even if she wanted to.” His eyes were honest, and his smile was assuring.

  It was all I needed to hear.

  In the jet, I waited for another half an hour, so Prince Fahd could oversee the arrangements of my arrival. When I disembarked from the plane, I found a woman in black waiting for me beside Prince Fahd. Weirdly enough, I knew right away that it was Princess Huda, even without seeing her face.

  Over the past two weeks, we’d talked over the phone, but it was brief and I made sure that it was all business related. She would ask about my health and I would give the shortest of answers and end the conversation.

  Huda was amazing as always, all smiling and easy to make small talk with. For some reason, I had the strong feeling that she knew more than she was giving away, because she didn’t ask once why Mazen wasn’t with me, or even hint at t
he fact that I’d arrived unannounced.

  I was grateful for that.

  Once inside the palace, I was confused. Something felt – off, and some things looked wrong. It was just – not the same. And if there was one thing I was sure of that was missing, it was the lack of incense in the palace. It didn’t smell like musk and sandalwood anymore; the palace now was very ordinary.

  As Huda and Prince Fahd escorted me to the wing, I was greeted with smiles or a nod of the head by whoever I met. It felt like I was seriously welcomed there, as if they were happy I’d come back. It was a nice thing to feel welcomed.

  Once we hopped off the elevator, Prince Fahd told me to enjoy my stay and to have any of the guards send for him if I needed anything. He left us by the foyer, not entering any further, though Huda stayed with me.

  My throat went dry as I entered the wing. My heart was racing, and my mind was fogged with memories. Mixed feelings of comfort, longing and sorrow consumed me.

  The bedroom was pretty much the same, but oh, so different. Everything was in its place, but nothing looked like it had been. Something was missing in here, as well. Something big. The soul of the place.

  Mazen.

  Mazen wasn’t there.

  Before, I’d thought that dark memories would haunt me when I entered the wing. The memories of a gun pointed at my head, its cold steel warning me of how quickly death could come. I thought I would be assaulted with pictures of women pinning me down to the bed as another woman tried to rip my pants off. But that didn’t happen at all.

  Instead, it was sweet memories of the kindness with which Mazen had treated me, and the tenderness with which he’d held me. The memories were of us together, smiling, giggling, laughing, and memories of us crying in each other’s arms.

  It was memories of love.

  And right then, I knew what the wing was missing most, and it wasn’t only Mazen. It was life.

  It was missing life.

  I tried my very best to control the ache in my chest at the thought of spending a lonely night here without Mazen. I was successful in hiding my tears – to a point.

  Huda took off her niqab and abaya, finally letting me see her face and also her gorgeous outfit. We chatted for a few minutes, and then she told me that my servant was on her way to the wing. I couldn’t help my outburst when she said it was a new servant, someone named Donia.

  “Why not Mona?” I asked in shock.

  “Um, Mona is not a servant, Marie. She only spent that week with you for Prince Mazen’s sake, after he requested it from her.”

  My shoulders dropped in disappointment. “Yeah. I understand.” I’d forgotten for a second that the week was already over and so was Mona’s kind service of staying with me, but – “I don’t want her as a servant, I want her as a friend. Can’t she come see me?” I asked Huda. I really wanted to see her, and even hoped that she would spend the night with me.

  “I don’t really know. I could call her, but it’s up to her if she wants to come or not,” Huda said.

  “Come to the wing?” I asked, finding it really hard to believe that Mona could know that I was here and refuse to come; I knew she liked me.

  “To the palace,” she corrected. “She doesn’t live here, didn’t you know?”

  “Oh, I see. I guess I never thought about it.” But even if she wasn’t in the palace, I knew she would still come over. I hoped that her place wasn’t too far away, like in another city or something.

  Huda asked one of the female guards who was standing outside of the wing to inform Mona of my request. I took the time to find something to wear. I had told them to leave my bags as they were on the jet, and only took my carry-on with me to the palace.

  Inside the walk-in closet, and once I’d turned on the lights, my legs took me to where Mazen’s clothes were. My hands reached out to touch whatever I could touch of his thawbs, shirts, and every other thing. I brought a shirt to my face and inhaled deeply, then took another and hugged it tightly. A few tears of longing rolled down my cheeks. Longing for him.

  By the time Huda returned, I had changed into pajamas and sat back down on the armchair like I was before, finishing my call with Brad. He’d asked me to call him once I landed and I’d forgotten. As crazy as it sounds, it felt a bit odd to have my cell phone with me inside the wing.

  We heard a knock on the bedroom door, not long after, and my heart beat in excitement, thinking that it was probably Mona, the guards outside of the wing having let her in.

  My guess was correct when I called, “Come in!” and I found Mona pushing the door open, her smile as wide as that time I’d told her I would be bringing Mazen his tea myself, only a day before I had to leave.

  “Mona!” I cried as I stood up, my grin dominating my features. I met her halfway as she greeted me with a matching grin and open arms, an ‘‘Oh, Benty!” falling from her lips as we hugged. “I’ve missed you so much!”

  “I missed you, too,” I told her, honesty dripping from my voice. When she smoothed my hair back in a motherly gesture, I couldn’t help the warmth that ran through me, or the feeling of how this day wouldn’t be as awful as I’d thought it would be.

  In my eyes, thing were different. Everything was different. My feelings were unlike what I had felt before, and it made me see my stay in the palace in another light. I wasn’t that scared, sad and anxious girl anymore. No. I’d changed. I’d changed into someone better. There was a new light to the wing that I hadn’t seen before. A light that made everything look … prettier.

  It was as if I’d had a black spot in my mind that made every nice gesture people in here had made before look like a game, some lame thing they were doing with hidden intention. They would serve me food and I would think it was probably poisoned, they would smile at me and I would think they were planning my death, they would bow their heads and I would think they were making fun of me.

  Two weeks ago, I had felt as if they were my enemies.

  But today as I sat with Mona and Huda, it was the complete opposite. All of the negative thoughts were like ghosts from the past. To me, the food they were serving me looked even better than before. I was aware of the fact that it was all Western dishes that had been cooked just for me, and I took it as an act of kindness. The smiles seemed so very genuine. And the bows were taken as a sign of the respect they had for me.

  I’d changed.

  And I was so happy about it. That black spot that had colored everything as sinister was gone. I was so grateful that I’d found my black keys. It made my heart feel so much lighter, and my shoulders weren’t as heavy anymore.

  I only wished that Mazen were here so I would be able to truly enjoy all of those wonderful feelings to the fullest. Because I knew that nothing would feel complete without him.

  When Huda left a few hours later, it seemed like it wasn’t only me who had been waiting for her to leave so I could speak freely. Because the moment the door clicked shut, Mona moved closer to me and asked with concern obvious in her voice, “How have you really been, Benty? Please, tell me honestly.”

  “Oh, Mona, it was – crazy. Things were just not the same,” I told her, hoping that she would understand without me having to explain how miserable I’d been for the past two weeks.

  She nodded. “It wasn’t the same here either. The palace has been a mess since the day you left.”

  My eyes narrowed and I tilted my head to the left, trying to process what she was saying. I recalled how I’d felt when I entered the palace and how some things felt off. “What do you mean by a mess? What happened?” I asked.

  A sigh left her mouth. “There are so many things that the queen does, I can’t even count. Since she’s absent, along with Princess Janna – no one is here to do those things. Princess Rosanna tried, but there’s just so little she can do without leaving her bed,” Mona explained, causing new questions to invade my mind.

  I looked down at my hands in my lap. My chest tightened at the mention of her. And though I wondered what Mona
could have meant by the queen’s absence, I didn’t want to ask. I didn’t have the heart to speak about her, and also—I just didn’t care. Maybe she’d left the country to do something important. Maybe she was sick. Maybe she was whatever. The most important thing was that she wasn’t there to bother me, and to be honest and despite Prince Fahd’s promise to keep me safe, it was still a relief to know that she was far away.

  “Have you–” I paused, “Have you heard from Mazen?” My heart started thumping at the sound of his name falling from my lips, the same as it always did every time I thought of him. My question came out in a whisper as I dreaded the answer, knowing I would be jealous if she had heard his voice in a phone call while I hadn’t.

  Still, I wanted her to answer with a ‘yes’, because that meant that I would know something of how he’d spent the past two weeks, if Mona was kind enough to ease my worry and tell me.

  Mona smiled sadly, and I knew the answer right away before she could verbalize it. “I’m afraid not, Benty,” she said in a low voice. “He’s the kind who suffers in silence.”

  Suffer. The word hurt my heart. But it gave me a little hope. It meant that Mona knew he was missing me, too, didn’t it?

  I couldn’t say that I had a restless night, but it also wasn’t the best. That night, I was seriously tired, and I did need to rest my body a bit. Mona sensed how tired I was when she saw me yawning, and excused herself with the promise that she would be here first thing in the morning before I had to leave for London.

  I couldn’t ask her to stay because I knew she probably had a home and a family of her own she needed to take care of. It was the first time I became aware of the fact that I knew very little about Mona, despite how much I liked her and loved her company. And I hoped that we would get the time someday for her to tell me more about herself, because all I knew was that she had a girl who was Mazen’s age, and that was it.

  I did feel lonely even with the knowledge that Donia was sleeping in the room where Mona used to sleep. She was a nice girl, no older than nineteen or twenty, with a smile plastered on her face and a blush that never faded – but she wasn’t Mona, and sure as heck wasn’t Mazen.